I'm 17 and I can't stand life, help?

I'm 17 and I don't want to see a therapist, most definitely not a psychiatrist ( I would never take any mood altering drugs) It's just I feel so depressed, it just hit me like nothing I've ever felt. Its just this feeling of complete hopelessness. I just want to die, but killing yourself means going to hell, and I don't want to go to hell so I'm just stuck here. I don't need to talk or tell anyone, they can't help. I am just so lost, I want to pack a bag and just disappear without a trace. I just don't know what to do... please, advice?